It's Getting Real

So I'm turning 30 in August of this year. I'm not scared, I'm actually more determined than ever to reach the goals that I want for myself. I have always has this idea in my head of how I've wanted my life to be. Ever since I was a little girl I have had an idea in my head of what I wanted in life and how I wanted to live it. Now over the years my ideas have changed a little bit here and there but overall the idea was this-live a life doing something I love in the creative field. Now what my job would be has changed over the years, i wanted to be a fashion designer, a wedding planner, a makeup artist, a wedding dress designer, an artist. It's all been in the same field, it just took a few years to figure out what direction that it would turn out to be. I at least ended up being one of those things! No matter what my idea of my future would be at whatever age I was, it was always this-live a life doing what I loved creatively, be outside and be one of those nature-loving, zen creatures who hike and do yoga poses on mountain tops, who wear yoga & workout clothing while out on the go because they just got back from a great workout, ate right & cooked really well, had a really cool & funky house with plants and a garden and big backyard with dogs running around, truly happy, did random weird jobs here and there. I never envisioned myself as a teacher, doctor, working in an office of some type. It just never happened. I feel like in my mind my whole life I've known my normal wasn't going to be most people's normal, and that's ok. I envisioned myself with kids some time in my life, but probably a few years down the road. Anyways, my long, rambling point is-I'm turning 30 and I feel like I need to get my sh*t together!












So far everything is just flowing right into place. But once you reach a pivotal age like 30, it makes you reflect and assess how your life is and where you are going.

I am coming to an age where it's like there's no turning back now. You're in your 30's and you better have it together because things are changing with you, in your life & in your body and it's going to only get harder and harder to correct any changes you want. I know 30's the new 20, yeah, whatever. I don't want to relive my 20's. I want to perfect the life I want and to really be this person I've always wanted to be and I feel like 30 is the goal! It's the major life point where I can look back at all I've done and say, "ok, you've done well!" Or say, "oh gosh, what in the world have you done the past 30 years!"












So far looking back at my almost 30 years on this earth, I feel good. I have a wonderful husband who goes on hikes with me and we have 3 awesome dogs who run and play in our great, big backyard with our garden and beautiful plants that we are adding more & more to. I do yoga & love to workout, I have to have it in my life. I'm happy about that. I like that I need it in my life to be happy and feel balanced. I have to eat right and cook well. I really have to. I've taken things out of my life, like eating well & working out and it just doesn't work for me. The later half of last year threw me for a loop and really knocked me down. I let go of a lot of things that I love and I know I need. Mainly it was cooking clean, healthy, whole, foods and working out. I just kind of stopped and chilled for a bit. I kinda needed it and it worked. After a few months I felt refreshed and renewed and all was well. Well, except I had really lived an indulgent life and I had definitely gained some weight.

By July of last year I was actually liking the progress I was seeing. This was a first in a long, long time where I was actually proud & happy of myself and my lifestyle. Then fast forward to a few months later and boom-here I am a little softer than a few months before and really out of shape. And that's ok. I needed to sit back and relax for a while. But now August is creeping up and I'm back on track! All I can say about that is this, life throws a few bumps in the road and all you can do is buckle up, hold on & then get back on track to really listening to you. If you have to change routes, so be it. If you have to pull over and take a break, do it. Whatever your body needs, listen to it & do it.

So my goals for 30 have been floating around in my head for a while. I want to really have my healthy lifestyle down and cook healthy foods and eat clean. I want to have a great fitness routine down, I want to practice yoga daily. I want to run around on the beach in a bikini and look freakin awesome. But really, what it all boils down to is-I want to love myself.











It has taken me a month to write this blog because I have been so busy and what's funny is the first intention of this blog was to hold myself accountable. It was to publicly state that I'm going to be in a bikini on the beach on my 30th birthday looking awesome and since I stated it out loud, it would push me to really do it. But within this month of really thinking, noticing, looking & focusing on health, fitness & wellness my goal has changed. I just want to love myself. I don't have to look awesome in a bikini to do that. I need to accept myself for who I am and make the most out of that. I need to be thankful and appreciative of the body I have and take advantage of that to its utmost ability. I don't need to have washboard abs to look good in a swimsuit and to love myself, and i don't need to meet this unrealistic standard of beauty that's out in the world.

Look around you when you're out in public, watching tv, or on social media even, honestly it's everywhere. Notice how many unrealistic standards of beauty there are out in the world. It's crazy!! There are these 40-something year old mothers of 3 on magazine covers with these amazing abs and these extremely tiny legs and arms. There are all these Kardashians with this crazy amount of contouring going on, tons of makeup, perfect lighting making this stupid pouty lip face, that you would never normally make in public, but it makes your cheekbones look awesome face. It's not real!!!! I'm a makeup artist and I even think makeup is getting out of control. We are contouring and changing the looks of our own features to completely change the look of our face! People are looking crazy scary and unrealistic. Not only is it with the makeup but it's the fitness routines that are unrealistic as well. These celebrities have personal trainers and workout like crazy! I read once how Kate Hudson got her post-baby body back. You know what it was? It was working out 6 hours a day!!! 6 hours!! She was quoted saying she would be crying while running on the treadmill. Umm...guys. This is not normal!!! Gwenyth Paltrow has an awesome body. She does the Tracy Anderson Method. I was like, "ok, cool let's do this." Umm...no. No I can't do this. I don't have 2 hours a day 6 days a week to do her fitness regiment. Who seriously has time to do that? And for me, why would you? Don't you want to spend time with your family or chill outside? We need to start enjoying and appreciating what we have. We can't devote all our time to working out when we are missing out on real life stuff. We can't keep changing things on our face and body to look "beautiful." You ARE beautiful!












Now I'm all for makeup. You have great eyes, play em up! You have awesome lips, throw a beautiful gloss on & go for it. But this whole contouring the nose down and changing the complete look of your face is crazy. Love & accept who you are! You don't need to change a thing!! Once we stop looking at all the outside standards of what's beautiful and popular and you completely let that go, you really start seeing what's important-your health, your life, your family. We have got to stop wasting time hating our bodies!!! I have wasted SO many years of my life hating my body. I hated my body back when I really shouldn't have hated it! I've realized if I keep this certain standard of beauty in my head to reach, I'm going to always hate my body and I'm tired of that. I'm tired of hating my body and wanting something that will never be reached. You know what can be reached? Loving yourself. Make goals that make you happy. Not goals that you think will make you happy. I have decided to stop making number goals. Like, I want to be a size ______ or I want to weigh ______.These goals will not make me happy. You know what goals will make me happy? I will not let the number on the scale or on my pants tag bother me. I'm going to love myself and appreciate one part of me every day. No more bashing myself. Only love and appreciation here.












Start loving yourself and appreciating what you have and who you are. Start complimenting yourself, stop picking yourself apart. When someone compliments you, take the compliment! Give compliments. Until we stop criticizing each other & start uplifting each other as females, none of this is going to get any better. It's time for us all to be on the same team and that team is loving ourselves, loving one another, appreciating our own bodies and what makes us beautiful, appreciating others and reminding one another what makes them beautiful, letting go of worldly views of beauty & those ridiculous standards, accepting your own beauty and reminding yourself daily how blessed, beautiful & lucky you are, and uplifting one another.












Now I'm not saying I'm just throwing all health & wellness out the door and ripping open a bag of Oreos. I'm just saying I'm throwing all negativity and hatred of myself out the door. I know what makes me feel good and what makes me feel beautiful. Working out and eating right just so happen to be two of those things. So I'm going to continue to take care of myself and live the life I want to live. I'm just going to start loving myself, appreciating the body I have, and letting go of all that other garbage that's out there in the media. It's time to stop body shaming ourselves and others! Time for love! #thisis30


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