Hi guys!! If you're reading this then guess what??? You made it through 2016!!!! One of the most challenging years that I can remember, right? I mean, it wasn't horrible for me-but it wasn't my best. Of course we lost so many amazing artists which are such a sad loss, but it's also been nice for the world to love & appreciate their talents one last time. Yes, tough year for our beloved celebrities. Weird year for so, so, SO many other things. I'm quite the positive person and I have to admit my demeanor, mindset, outlook on life & thoughts have not been as positive as usual. I found this year very challenging. That's the word I'm going to use to describe 2016- challenging, yet enlightening. There's the positive spin! I'm back!

I remember this time last year, I had put SO much work into "what's to come." I had prepped, planned, worked my butt off for all my hard work to fall into place-for it not to. It wasn't 2016 that failed me, it was me that failed myself. But I'm not going to say "failed" actually. This is where the "enlightened" word comes in. 

The beginning of 2016 I was totally hopeful, motivated, scared-yet positive, uncertain-yet calm about all the amazing things that were going to happen. I had a lot of great opportunities. I traveled and worked so much. Got to see some fun areas of the country I have never been to, went on some fun road trips with my husband, and really just went by the seat of my pants for the first 6 months of the year. Freelance is funny. You have all this free time, you get compensated quite well when you work, but nothing is every promised. So it's a really tricky situation. But the truth of the matter was this-I was doing what I loved. The schedule very open, flexible, lots of free time, yet unstable and sporadic worked for me. I got to go for 2 hour walks while listening to music, meditating, enjoying nature (which totally heals me by the way), I got to do yoga & meditation daily-my meditation practice was stronger than ever because my life was uncertain-I needed that break, that time to pray and be guided on where I should go next. My spiritual, physical & mental body was connected. But for some reason I never saw it that way. I only focused on the fact that my job, my foundation was all on the unknown, uncertain, unstable track-I told myself I have to get out of it. I'm crazy to keep doing this job. I completely lost sight of the fact that I was actually doing something I loved, that I am good at, this is what I'm meant to be doing, I know it. But I never reminded myself of that. I was staying busy, in demand, traveling this country all while doing what I loved and getting paid to do it! I was taking care of myself & my yoga practice was the best it's ever been, I had lots of free time to create and things were going well! But I got in my head too much and convinced myself that I was not making wise choices. I was setting myself up for failure and it was a scary uncertain road. I felt like I had to work 5 days a week to be a "real adult," I needed stability. In Freelance, I never knew when I would work again, or if I would even get another job. Yet i always stayed busy for 6 straight months in 2016, hell, i have stayed busy in freelance for over 3 straight years! I just really got in my head by July of 2016. I got in my head, i let the worldly thoughts get in my head, i let fear get in my head, and I lost sight of what I really wanted and the goals and plans that I had for 2016.

I quit it all. I quit makeup, Skincare, education, traveling, freelance, everything. I quit myself, and I lost myself. At first I wasn't too upset. It's hard letting go of what you know you're good at, and I never thought I would quit the beauty world. At first the stability and the newness of a steady paycheck were nice. I loved my job and I cared about it, the people I worked with, and it was fun. But it wasn't me. I appreciated the stability, but I also lost my need for yoga and meditation. I loved the regular hours and always being home on nights and weekends, but I lost making time for my blog and lost inspiration for trying out new products and writing about them. I really just lost a part of me. 

The thing I was running from the most, the thing I needed to change-was the one thing that made me, me. I'm an only child, and the travel that I once dreaded was actually a nice "me time" that I never noticed. I love to walk and look at nature, it's like it's my church. And I used to feel that way driving and seeing all the beautiful scenery. I missed it. The uncertainty of schedule that I desperately wanted to go away, was actually the thing that kept me practicing yoga, meditating & praying. Once stability happened, all the other stuff stopped. My positive mindset, my dreamer mentality, my go-getter, goal digging, dreams-to-reality, driven-mindset, gone. Now I'm not saying that a stable job is a dream killer. I'm saying it wasn't for me. The one thing I thought would "fix everything" didn't. I thought if I knew where my paycheck was coming from every week, I wouldn't have a worry in the world. But that was not true. I let go of me. I let go of myself and my dreams and my passions because I got in my head too much. 

It's hard to let go of your passions to do something safe & stable. But let me tell you, it's harder to let go of the stability and go back for your dreams. But, you have to. I loved my stable job. I loved the friends I had made, I loved everything about it. But it wasn't me. It's hard to swallow that pill. It's hard to realize that stability might not go with your passions, goals, and plans. I'm not saying quit your job and let Jesus take the wheel. No. But what I'm saying is, I looked over all that I had been given, I looked over all that my passions provided, to find that one little detail that I didn't have-stability. I let go of all my passions for that one thing, that I actually had all along. I have been a freelancer for over 3 years & stayed waaaay busier than I always thought I would. Just because I don't know what I'll be doing next month doesn't mean I'm not going to work. I just needed faith & I lost faith & lost sight of my dreams. 

2016 was enlightening to me this way-I got to go on that other side. I had that thought-"if I could only have _______(whatever you think you're missing)then everything would be great" and I actually got what I thought was missing, and realized I left everything else behind. It was enlightening to me because I realized this-some people need stability. They would rather know what their schedule is like every week, they want to know where they're getting that paycheck from every week, and they like that stability (word of the year for me). Then there's the people who would rather do what makes them excited. They want to just go for it and see what happens, follow their passion and have a leap of faith. Things will usually pan out and provide. It's totally scary and to me, I told myself I was childish for wanting that. But it's not. I always thought I was wrong for doing that route and there's no right or wrong. If you're driven by stability-you're not wrong. If you're driven by passion-you're not wrong either! People are wired differently and I don't have to be like everyone else. I can't compare myself to my friends who have a stable job at an office and get paid however much a week. We can't compare ourselves to anyone else. I am not "wrong" for not wanting the stable route & neither is that person who would never do what I do. I am not doing the wrong job because I don't know what I'm working every single week for the next 6 months. I'm doing what I love & I'm meant to do on this earth & that's all I can do is just follow what I know. 

What we can do is take a really deep look into what we do love, What we really do want, what really drives us, and that's something only we can answer-nobody else can answer that for us. That's why for 2017 I'm not doing a resolution-I'm doing a vision board. I'm going to remind myself of what I love, what I want, what excites me, what makes me truly happy & makes me feel good & accomplished. I'm going to be very mindful of what brings me joy & that's it. What brings ME joy-not what's supposed to bring me joy, or what I'm supposed to do, it's what I want & my purpose. Tomorrow I will give you steps on how to make your own vision board to take you into 2017 with guns blazing! 

Take today not to think about how crappy 2016 was or your failures. Think about your growth, what you've learned, your accomplishments and all the positives of 2016. Take that warmth & happiness and put it out there already for 2017, because 2017 is going to be great. 

Numerology believes that 2016 is a 9 year. 9 is a number of endings & completion. So just think that this year is done. You don't have to take any of 2016 with you. It's done, it is completed. 

2017 is a 1 year which means-new beginnings & creations. 

If you want to start over, if you've always wanted to create or do something and you've been scared. If you're still hanging on to something that brings you sadness or negativity or holds you back-let it go because 2016 is done & completed & 2017 is time for a new you. What better time to do it then now???? This is your sign!! Start fresh & renew & do what YOU want because 2017 is the year to do it! 

See ya 2016-it's been weird & enlightening! 

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